WHY WORRY?  CHAPTER VI - THE DOUBTING FOLLY

WHY WORRY?

BY: GEORGE LINCOLN WALTON, M.D.
CONSULTING NEUROLOGIST TO THE MASSACHUSETTS GENERAL HOSPITAL

VI.

THE DOUBTING FOLLY

Jatgeir. I needed sorrow; others there may be who need faith, or joy--or
doubt--

King Skule. Doubt as well?

Jatgeir. Ay; but then must the doubter be strong and sound.

King Skule. And whom call you the unsound doubter?

Jatgeir. He who doubts of his own doubt.

King Skule (slowly). That methinks were death.

Jatgeir. 'T is worse; 't is neither day nor night.

King Skule (quickly, as if shaking off his thoughts). Where are my
weapons? I will fight and act, not think.

--IBSEN: The Pretenders, Act iv.

A gentleman once told me that he rarely passed another in the street
without wondering if he had not accosted him in an improper manner. He knew
very well that he had not, but the more he dwelt upon the possibility, the
more doubtful he became, until the impulse to settle the question became
so strong that he would retrace his steps and inquire. He asked if nux
vomica would help this trouble! I told him he needed mental training.

"I have tried that," he answered. "I keep saying to myself, 'I will not
think of it,' but it is no use; my head becomes hot, my sight blurred, my
thoughts confused, and the only relief I find is to settle the question."

I tried to point out the direction in which he was tending, and told him he
must remind himself that even if he had accosted another improperly, it was
a trifling matter compared to the injury to himself of giving way to this
compulsion; moreover, the impression he would make upon the other by going
back would be even worse than that of having so accosted him; and, finally,
he must dwell upon the probability that he had not offended the man,
instead of the possibility that he had. Having pursued this line of
thought, he must force himself to think of something else until the
besetting impulse was obliterated. I suggested that if a baseball player
should become incapacitated for the game, he would not lessen his
disappointment by reiterating, "I will not think of baseball," but if he
persistently turned his thoughts and his practice to billiards he might in
time forget baseball.

"I never played baseball," he replied, "and don't even know the rules."

This represents an extreme case of "doubting folly" a case in which the
victim could no longer concentrate his thoughts on the simplest proposition
outside the narrow circle to which his doubts had restricted him.

If we once allow ourselves to wonder whether we have turned off the
water, enclosed the check, or mailed the letter, it is but a step to an
uncomfortable frame of mind which can be relieved only by investigating the
matter. This compulsion once acceded to, it becomes more and more easy to
succumb. The next step is to blur, by constant repetition, the mental image
of the act. In extreme cases the doubter, after turning the gas on and off
a dozen times, is finally in doubt whether he can trust his own senses. A
certain officer in a bank never succeeded in reaching home after closing
hours without returning to try the door of the bank. Upon finding it
locked, he would unlock it and disappear within, to open the vault, inspect
the securities, and lock them up again. I once saw a victim of this form of
doubt spend at least ten minutes in writing a check, and ten minutes more
inspecting it, and, after all, he had spelled his own name wrong!

Constant supervision only impairs acts which should have become automatic.
We have all heard of the centipede who could no longer proceed upon his
journey when it occurred to him to question which foot he should next
advance.

To other doubts are often added the doubt of one's own mental balance;
but it is a long step from these faulty habits of mind to real mental
unbalance, which involves an inability to plan and carry out a line of
conduct consistent with one's station.

It took a young man at least fifteen minutes, in my presence, to button his
waistcoat. He felt the lower button to reassure himself, then proceeded
to the next. He then returned to the lower one, either distrusting his
previous observation, or fearing it had become unbuttoned. He then held the
lower two with one hand while he buttoned the third with the other. When
this point was reached he called his sight to the aid of his feeling, and
glued his eyes to the lower while he buttoned the upper, unbuttoning many
meantime, to assure himself that he had buttoned them. This young man said
he would sometimes stop on his way to the store in doubt whether he was
on the right street, a doubt not quieted either by reading the sign or by
asking a stranger, because the doubt would obtrude itself whether he could
trust his sight and his hearing, indeed, whether he was really there or
dreaming. Even this victim of extreme doubting folly conducted his business
successfully so long as I knew him, and so comported himself in general as
to attract no further comment than that he was "fussy."

These doubts lead to chronic indecision. How often, in deciding which of
two tasks to take up, we waste the time which would have sufficed for the
accomplishment of one, if not both.

The doubt and the indecision result directly from over-conscientiousness.
It is because of an undue anxiety to do the right thing, even in trivial
matters, that the doubter ponders indefinitely over the proper sequence of
two equally important (or unimportant) tasks. In the majority of instances
it is the right thing for _him_ to pounce upon _either_. If he pounces
upon the wrong one, and completes it without misgiving, he has at least
accomplished something in the way of mental training. The chances are,
moreover, that the harm done by doing the wrong thing first was not to be
compared to the harm of giving way to his doubt, and either drifting into
a state of ineffective revery or fretting himself into a frenzy of anxious
uncertainty.

A gentleman once told me that after mailing a letter he would often linger
about the box until the postman arrived, and ask permission to inspect
his letter, ostensibly to see if he had put on the stamp, but in fact to
reassure himself that he had really mailed the missive, although he knew
perfectly well that he had done so. The life of the chronic doubter is
full of these small deceits, though in most matters such persons are
exceptionally conscientious.

This form of over-solicitude is peculiarly liable to attack those in whose
hands are important affairs affecting the finances, the lives, or the
health of others. I have known more than one case of the abandonment of a
chosen occupation on account of the constant anxiety entailed by doubts of
this nature. Nor are these doubts limited to the question whether one has
done or left undone some particular act. An equally insistent doubt is that
regarding one's general fitness for the undertaking. _The doubter may spend
upon this question more time than it would take to acquire the needed
facility and experience_.

Some one has said there are two things that no one should worry about:
first, the thing that can't be helped; second, the thing that can. This is
peculiarly true of the former.

Reflection upon the past is wise; solicitude concerning it is an
anachronism. Suppose one has accepted a certain position and finds himself
in doubt of his fitness for that position. Nothing can be more important
than for him to decide upon his next line of conduct. Shall he resign
or continue? Is he fit for the position, or, if not, can he acquire the
fitness without detriment to the office? These are legitimate doubts. But
the doubter who finds himself in this predicament adds to these legitimate
doubts the question, "Ought I to have accepted the office?" This is the
doubt he must learn to eliminate. He must remind himself that he has
accepted the position, whether rightly or wrongly, and that the acceptance
is ancient history. The question what shall he do next is sufficiently
weighty to occupy all his attention without loading his mind with anxious
doubts regarding the irrevocable past.

Suppose, in fact, the doubter has made a mistake; how shall he banish the
worry? By reminding himself that others have made mistakes, why should not
he, and that it is somewhat egotistic on his part to insist that, whatever
others may do, he must do everything right. If this line of reasoning
fails to console him, let him think of the greater mistakes he might have
made. A financial magnate was once asked how he succeeded in keeping his
mind free from worry. He replied, by contemplating the two worst things
that could happen to him: losing all his property and going to jail. He had
learned the lesson that one thought can be driven out only by another.

With regard to immediate doubts. If the over-scrupulous business or
professional man, worn out after an exacting day's work, will stop and
reflect, he will realize that much of his exhaustion is due to his having
filled the day with such doubts as whether he is doing the wrong thing, or
the right thing at the wrong time, whether he or someone else will miss an
appointment or fail to meet obligations, and whether he or his assistants
may make blunders.

Let him resolve some morning that he will proceed that day from task to
task without allowing such thoughts to intrude. If he does so he will find
that he has succeeded in his work at least as well as usual, and that he is
comparatively fresh in the evening.

Why not try this every day?

     *       *       *       *       *
So far we have only considered the most obvious and simple among the
evidences of doubting folly. A still more obstinate tendency of the doubter
is the insistent habit interminably to argue over the simplest proposition,
particularly regarding matters pertaining to the health, comfort, and life
of the individual himself. A certain patient, of this type, attempts to
describe to his physician a peculiar, hitherto undescribed, and even now
indescribable sensation "through his right lung." He traces this sensation
to what he believes to have been the absorption of a poison some years ago.
His line of reasoning is somewhat as follows: 1. The drug was a poison. 2.
If he absorbed it he must have been poisoned. 3. If he was poisoned then,
he is poisoned now. 4. There is no proof that such a poison cannot produce
such a sensation. 5. He has the sensation. Conclusion: He is suffering from
poison. In support of this proposition he will spend hours with anyone
who will listen. The physician who allows himself to be drawn into the
controversy speedily finds himself, instead of giving advice to listening
ears, involved in a battle of wits in which he is quite likely to come
off second best. He assures the patient, for example, that, as far as
scientific methods can establish the fact, the lung is sound.

"But has science established everything? And if it had, is such negative
evidence to be weighed against the positive evidence of the sensation in my
lung?"

"But the sensation may not be in your lung."

"Can you prove that it is not in my lung?" Folly scores!

On being urged to direct his attention to some other part of his body, he
promptly inquires,

"How can I direct my thoughts elsewhere, when the sensation is there to
occupy my attention?" Obviously he can not without changing his mental
attitude, so folly scores again.

He is assured that if the poison had been absorbed the effects would have
passed away long before this time.

"But do the effects of poison always pass away? And can you _prove_ that
they have passed away in my case? Is not the sensation positive evidence,
since you have allowed that you cannot prove that the sensation does _not_
come from the poison?"

Folly scores again, but the victory is an empty one. The vicious circle
continues: Attention magnifies sensation--sensation produces fear--fear
increases attention; and throughout runs the insistent thought that his
sensations shall conform to his ideal.

If the discussion of such comparatively tangible matters can occupy a large
part of one's attention, imagine the result of the insistent desire, on the
part of the doubter, to solve such problems as "What is thought?" "What is
existence?"

If the windings of this intellectual labyrinth have not too far involved
us, we have only to recognize the futility of such arguments, and exercise
our will-power in the right direction. If we can bring ourselves to take
the initiative, it is as easy to step out of the vicious circle, as for
the squirrel to leave his wheel. But unless we grasp the logic of the
situation, and take this initiative, no amount of abuse, persuasion, or
ridicule will effect our freedom.

     *       *       *       *       *
A word may be in place regarding the anthropological status of the doubting
folly and allied mental states. Men of genius have suffered from them all.
A long list may be found in Lombroso's "Man of Genius." Under folie du
doute we find, for example, Tolstoi, Manzoni, Flaubert and Amiel.

Lombroso regards genius as degenerative, and places among the signs of
degeneration, deviations from the average normal, whether physical or
mental. This plan has been quite generally followed. The nomenclature seems
to me unfortunate and hardly justified by the facts. I can think of no more
potent objection to such inclusive use of the term degenerate, than the
fact that Lombroso includes, under the signs of degeneration, the enormous
development of the cerebral speech-area in the case of an accomplished
orator. If such evolutional spurts are to be deemed degenerative, the fate
of the four-leaved clover is sealed.

The application of the term degeneration may be, and should be, it seems
to me, limited to the signs, whether physical or mental, which indicate an
obviously downward tendency. I have elsewhere suggested, and the suggestion
has already found some acceptance, that when the variation is not
definitely downward, deviation and deviate be substituted for the
unnecessarily opprobrious and often inappropriate terms, degeneration and
degenerate.

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Preface

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Why Worry - The Doubting Folly